Holy Fuck

So a lot has changed since last time I wrote. I turned 22 which isn’t really that big of a deal but it is a reminder that I’m getting older and so is everyone around me. I’ve realized why people want to get so fucked up on their birthdays…no one wants to remember that they’re getting old just like everyone else. I kept thinking about my mom and ugh I will NOT be okay when she is no longer w me. 

I broke my elbow longboarding last Tuesday :/ :/ :/ It hurt so fucking bad and it was the first time I had broken anything ever. I was extremely depressed during the first few days just because I didn’t know how long I was going to have to deal w it or if it was going to be in a cast or not. I was an emotional wreck. I had surgery two days ago and I’m gonna have this metal plate and screws in my elbow forever unless I want to have another surgery to get it out. (I don’t see myself wanting that anytime soon)  My mom has been such an angel saint holy being and I wish I could give her everything she’s ever wanted. She is such an amazing person. 

I think me and Daniel might try things again, but idk. I’m so scared I’m going to be disappointed. He can be awesome and sweet and sensitive and thoughtful but it usually takes me saying something and it’s like you should know me after THIS long to be able to whip up a cute idea like flowers when I’m sad or a fun date idea or to know to call me to just ask about my day or let me know something funny that made him think of me. I don’t know. He frustrates me because I know he can be the greatest boyfriend and he just doesn’t try.

I apologized to Sara. I’ve been really wanting to talk to her and explain what was going on in my life. I’m thinking whenever I get back from bonnaroo I’m going to see if she wants to go get lunch or something and talk.